Quick update!

Sean is now my BF! I'm a happy panda!

Post update of my DEN/WYO trip.

Sorry it took me long to post. 

Friday: I worked till 3:30 ish and made my flight about 2 hours early. The flight was running 30 minutes late but I was able to go through the airport just fine. Sean picked me up around 12 am and we went to the hotel he booked in Denver. 

Saturday: The plan was to go to Elitch Gardens/Six Flags with Sean's army buddy and his girl. We left the hotel around 10:30 and made it to the park after getting a bit lost. First roller coaster and I am still not sure how I feel about it. It was really hot so we decided to do a water ride second. As soon as we board it starts raining and we are all soaked head to toe in our normal clothes. We had a beer to try and dry out but the day went to dull weather. We waited super long for the third ride and right after we got off of it it closed down because of lightning storms. We went to get dinner and ate at the Hard Rock and walked around the outside mall. We went Wyoming to Sean's apartment and just chilled.

Sunday: We talked about getting breakfast food and so we drove from Laramie to Fort Collins for IHOP. Picked up some stuff and did an errand and then went right back home. Chilled the rest of the day and tried to eat. By this time I haven't been eating much because my tummy was not happy with me.

Monday: Since Sean had school he left while I was still out. He came home for lunch but had to go back. Once he got home we had to leave to get to the airport. Ended up early again and me having the urge to not go home. But made it back home, safe and sound. 

Most eventful month I think...

I feel like instead of quick notes I'll just rant night... Currently 11:13 pm starting this.

So I think this year so far has been more of a growing experience in some cases, still painful and lonely at times but overall I've learned more about myself in the last 5 or so months than I have in 25 years. 

I guess to start off, it's been my own selfishness and emotional struggle and even now to completely just not have much contact with my EX. Up until a couple months ago, we talked often and saw eachother prolly more than we should. A couple months ago, after the Mountian, I realized that I don't need people telling me what I should do over what I want to do. A large inner battle along with completely ignoring him for a while, I cut off most of what was still connecting us. Meaning he got the Xterra so no more car payment, insurance... unfortunatly the phone stays, cheaper. So since severing those ties, we maybe talk on weekends if that. And in doing so I am able to save up for a vehicle of my own. Though he is helping me make sure I don't rush and mess up anything. But yea, I was putting myself in a constant stress and pain cycle that I think was making it so that I really couldn't move on. There are still strands of that bit but the majority of it is gone, I don't believe I'm the type of person who could stop caring for another person who has had a big impact in my life regardless of it being good or bad.

Couple months ago, me and a few coworkers went to the Mountian Experience. Other than saying it was a very open and personal experience shared with amazing people. I learned that I don't need to carry the weight of fear, anger and all the horrible emotions and stresses that I carry with me. I took myself back from every person I gave a piece of me to and let go of some major pain and suffering that I've carried since I was a child. I'm still practicing the Inquiry Method and keeping what would have bothered me before from sticking. Now it's the easy stuff that you can inquire within a small amount of time. It's the bigger, more mind based stuff that I'm working on. 

I had mentioned that I met a guy in a previous post. Well, met him on OkCupid and luckily was not catfished. We talked for I think 2 weeks or more and met in person. He's great! We hung out for a few weeks while knowing he was going to school out of state pretty quickly. Safe to say I like him a lot. Hell, I'm actually going to fly out and see him in 7 days. It'll be for just the weekend but I feel like he's worth it, and I get to travel to a state(s) I've never been. I'll try to update on the trip because I want to remember it. I think my only hang up on this whole thing is that I don't know where we stand. And once he is done with school, it's possible that some of my personal red flags might go down. Not that any of them are stopping me now really, more future thoughts. 

So, I'm working on buying a vehicle. What I want (basically only option) is a Subaru Crosstrek in the orange color they have. Preferably used so that the initial depreciation is gone. I don't want to pay over $22,000 for it and that's with all the added stuff the dealers throw at you. 

Well, I can't really think of more to talk about. I'm fairly high and extremely tired/awake, yea dunno. Going to try and pass out or something. I'll prolly post more stuff I may have wanted to say tomorrow. Night night!